we elected the antichrist

but i still have the energy to hate my body 

our endless numbered days

so far the worst thing about my cat dying is that he’s stayed dead. i was not prepared for death’s permanence.

axiom

you are more than your writing

axiom

writing isn’t something you regret doing

axiom

good writing is good no matter where it’s published 

blessings

on the first day of the fall term, a young WoC came up to me after class and told me she wanted to be like me, she’d never had a WoC professor before, and she liked that i told the students to call me Dr. or Prof. because i earned my degree. she said she was first gen and she was looking toward the future. yesterday after class she came up to tell me “your class is blowing my mind. and i like your dress.”

one day i will wake up and won’t want to be thinner

there’s an article going around about how weight loss is impossible to maintain, especially for women, especially for serial dieters. the research isn’t actually that new. we’ve known about set point weight for a while, and about the body/brain’s desire to maintain it against starvation, which is how it experiences dieting. i wish someone would have told 21 year old me who did atkins. or 25 year old me who did weight watchers. or 17 year old me who tried diet pills. or 14 year old me who stopped eating. or 8 year old me who thought i should start dieting in the first place.

i want to live in a world where i don’t hate myself for having a body. i want to live in a body i don’t hate. i’m so so tired of wanting to be something else.